Today is the last time I will work in 2006- sweet.

Oh the financial situation of me, terrifying. When did we all become sucj capitalists? is that the right word?

Also when the hell does the twelve days pf Christmas come into it? I do not understand the advent time, well except for the baby Jesus- he was born and then we all had to give up sweets I believe is the point.

I must finish my shopping today- alright-gay. I am noway ready for the festive season- tragedy. But I am prepared for the Christmas season of Home Alone viweing, is there anything better? the answer is no children.

I seem to be surviving quite well in my alone state- this could be because I am not in fact alone, I have lucifer, martin-schmidt and the irreplaceable headcase- they are of the utmost importance for television viewing, laughing out loud at the randomness of the world.

So it's nearly Christmas and I am very poor- I am also extremely lonesome as my manorists have left me to return to their homes. I find myself overthinking things to such an extreme it must be considered dangerous at this stage. I think this is why Santa calls this time of year as some sort of distraction, we get very caught up in ourselves and have to find relief in such a materialistic manner. I love giving presents- but I never know how to react when I receive one- I have the worst expressions ever! I actually recall getting a present about two years ago in the form of some jewelery and I just had no words to express how nice it was and how thoughtful it was- melodramatic much? But I remember being completely immersed in this gift and what it meant and even though the sentiment has been overshadowed considerably since I still look at it and think it to be the most thoughtful gift I ever got.

I think I will sit under the tree for a few hours and become one with the pines- in a totally non sexual manner- of course.

My mam gave me this quote last week from Michael Collins;

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, rather the size of the fight in dog".

I like it.

I need to study and be concerned about my academic career- yet I remain unchanged about the fact that Anglo Saxon culture can bite me.

I want to be a billionaire for a day- buy all the stocks in the world and then give them away just before I lose all my money again at midnight-

I have been thinking about Cinderella alot today, it being my favourite disney film, and therefore the most expensive to purchase....

If I had a fairy God Mother I am not completely sure I would want her to know that I had a mad raging crush on a Prince, and I had such low self esteem that she had to pimp my ride, because if you think about that is exactly what that part of the story was, except Mad Mike was replaced by mice. And then instead of an engine with 400 million horses in it they got an attractive oversized (genetically modified) pumpkin to help her arrive in style. Once at her ball type thing I believe that the story loses sight of its main goal. I believe the idea was that men will only like the pretty slimline blondes... and that was going well until the story gives Prince "How's Your Father" a bit of a backbone, her social class is apparently of no interest to him. he wants her for who she is, her overpouring cleavage is probably helping immensely at this stage. Then she does the unthinkable, she realises that her flawless prince is in fact boring and makes up some elaborate scheme to leave the party, we have all done it- sorry dude, I have to be home by midnight, otherwise I turn into a pumpkin, har har har.... so she pegs off and falls out of her glass slipper, it's a wonder she survived in them as long as she did but whatever. So then he sees her senseless footwear and sets out to find her and bring her to Clarks to find her something far more sensible- then he'll start a relationship with her fashion designer brother and they will all live happily ever after.

I love the happy endings....

I have concerns:

Some are superficial (I found three hairs on my chin the other day, so I have been calling myself the hair meister recently).

But others are pretty deep- grown up in fact. And I don't like them. In fact I call them growing pains. Saddness does not help study, it makes helplessness come to the fore and then you feel sad for being helpless and helpless for being sad. I don't get why my mind overloads itself during a time when I need to concentrate on Anglo Saxons- I need to know stuff about them in order to raid them, steal their children and create my own empire..... or just pass through this exam as painlessly as possible.

This week I am going to listen to every song in my ipod until I find the one that answers the meaning of life- I'm betting McFly or Busted will be the powerful pieces. Nirvana is for whimps.

What is the answer to a problem you are approached with when you must keep it to yourself, you must advise, yet you know what the solution is? The person doesn't want to listen to your solution. But you know they heard it. The difference with hearing and listening is something relevant in this case.

Pondering is an ugly ideology at 12.50am.

Ah think about the bad days little and over think the good days I say.

Do you think Damien Rice knew that it is depressing to have every single song in an album so slow that you can rate your breathing to the beat? I think he is probably absolutely hilarious and is just messing with my head. This new album of his being no exception- I would still have his babies.... I am easy like that.

Also- My friend Sarah's songs which I added to my ipod recently have this way of making me smile, and be sentimental and sad all at once. If she isn't famous someday there is something wrong with the world. This is not a hopeless plug but I seriously recommend you take a trek to....

http://www.myspace.com/sarahgleesonmusic

Just listen..... you'll like.

Ah yes- a bad day and then an evening with friends is the only way to get over it.

I am finding myself far more romantic or late- a terrible state of affairs- I may even get into the chick flick genre..... maybe not.

Broken promises are going to be a big no no for me this week- so be warned that I will not be tolerating it whatso-and-ever.

I have two boy crushes! It is fantastic! Makes my day when I spot one of them, and then I can pretend I know what they are thinking... theyt want me. They can have me- just in case they are reading this... doubtful.

I miss things more this time of year and I blame that big fat man for this- he dresses in red and thinks he rocks because it is such an unforgiving colour. I don't care what he puts under the tree this year for me- we are not on speaking terms.

I need to cut my fringe apparently..... there's a mirror and scissors right there..... if I am not back in 48 hours begin to worry.

Why do I know all the words to Westlife's "Moments"?
Why am I so sad today?
WHY AM I SO SENSITIVE?
Why did I ever think that thinigs would change so much?
Why have I no credit?
Why is my broadband being so stupid?
Why is it so hot in here?
Why won't this essay write itself?
Why didn't the last essay write itself better?
Why am I not yet rich?
Why am I not yet famous?
Why am I not a size 6?
Why did God decide to down grade?
Why is Christmas the same time as rent due date?
Why won't our front door open?
Why did I let myself start this list?
Why has it been almost a month since I last wrote in this thing?
Why am I not far taller?
Why do I keep singing "A whole new world" over and over in my head?
Why don't I just build a bridge?

Answer all of the following... and get back to me