Even when it's at my finger tips....

With all the books, papers, magazines and online facilities I have within an arms reach- you'd think I would be more informed.

Today I spent the morning editing tirelessly- it's a slow and arduous task, not least because when I am tired and my spelling is the most woeful state of... (I just had to back and correct the word 'spelling'- good lord) vomit.

I love to read. I read until my eyes stop me, until I'm fast asleep and even then I am probably trying to finish the story in my overly stimulated head.

I find things online constantly that I want to read and know more about. I check a news website and see a related article and then I click on that, find something else shiny one page over and then BOOM- I'm on that cruel cruel mistress tangent ride that is Wikipedia.

In fact, I was just on the Irish Times website, fanning about and pretending to absorb some form of current event when I stumbled upon John Waters photo and by line, which threatening said- If you are reading this online, stop.

If ever there was a time to take stock, it's now. Mr Waters is watching.

With that in mind, I need to be more disciplined with my reading list on this tired computer if today is anything to go by, I have to learn to; Read or get off the pot. That may sound crude to you my delicate little flower, but if this madness continues there will be no novel for anyone and I will spend my entire life in a limbo of learning about things far worse than any theorem we memorised before going into the Leaving Cert.

I have decided that I need to empty that above image from my mind, my hard drive and my neglected reading list. He is like a poorly trained lover, you know he is there and if you're stuck... you'll give it a go. No idea why I made him male, that's for another day.

BUT NO MORE....

As soon as I learn all there is to know about this sport I just read about called curling...

God help me.

I think that the food in my fridge all hang out and are great friends when I close the door.

I think it's a mean girl society and they bitch and moan about the more popular things- like milk and cheese. The organic yoghurt that is only ever bought when I'm feel particularly guilty is always suicidal because... well, lets face it, it'll more than likely end up in the bin.

The condiments are cocky, arrogant and have no fear.

I hate ketchup.

NOAH Short | Short Cuts Canada | Festival 2013

Sometimes...

When I make a list of things to do... I leave off the most crucial task, this is because I enjoy a rebellion- even if it is against myself. Therefore if I don't add what I REALLY have to do onto the list and it might get done that day- it's all to do with psychology... Today I cleared out my wardrobe, it's a job I had been avoiding for a number of weeks and so last night my teenage self didn't remind my grown up self to do it and when I was supposed to be waxing my legs.... I cleaned out my wardrobe and compiled little regret bundles. Everyone has some of those, and if they tell you they don't, they're lying. Little scraps of clothes you never want the world to see, or more importantly- to see you in. But you will keep them in case of... some sort of post apocalyptical fashion crisis, Kimora Lee Simmons, Calvin Klein, Givenchy or Tom Forde may call on YOU... and want to know if you have that vomit green cardigan with the puffed up sleeves that will save the princess from the polyester pod people. All of this could happen. Anyway, I'm glad I blogged today. I meant to last week. This was when I was supposed to do a wash load. To conclude, I will go into my afternoon with one waxed leg (I forget my wimpish pain threshold) and no clean delicates. I have achieved.

Where have all the pants gone?

I don't ever want to begin a blog with; In my day things were different, but... In my day, things were different. A girl had money, and could afford pants, then she wore pants. Lets leave all VMA performances out of it- because I am pretty sure that you haven't been living under a rock and you know that one of the young people went a little crazy and disappointed their parents- they weren't mad, just... disappointed. I want to know where all the pants in the world have gone, are we sending them away to warmer climates? Is there a shortage in Australia and we need to provide them with trousers? Or is it now acceptable to not wear pants because... legs are good enough without them? I am not sure I want to live in a world like that.