When one is trying to find ones way in Dublin it is very important that you are not with a boy at the time. They will not ask for directions. There is something in their brain that tells them to stop talking, put their head down and pretend that it is a shameful act. At 3am on a Friday morning within spitting distance of that stupid spike thing there is nothing wrong with asking someone where the bloody hell our hostel is.

I understand the genetic make-up that comes into it. It is a sign of weakness to refrain from finding assistance and eventually coming upon the desired destination just before daybreak- but that just isn't how I roll. We asked for directions, we did find our way, and he is no less a man for it.

Another that has been uncovered this week is that vans can reverse- when you force them to. They will reverse, they will drive and they will most certainly go down a one way street the wrong way. The moral of this discovery is that I survived to blog it.

ISDA is complete.... I am no longer a production officer. I do not have another task that involves a risk assessment. From now on if you plan on standing still for long enough I will set you on fire.

Everything will actually fall down on top of me if I keep piling things up. I have learnt alot of things in the last 24 hours, take the advice written here and maybe you won't feel the same way.

- Say what you mean, all the time. Don't be sarcastic cause it'll get lost and misunderstood.
- Don't offer to help if you do not have the time, you're no good to anyone that way.
- If you're not comfortable in a situation just leave. People will understand if they understand you... which could be the problem in the third place.
- Never buy costumes and let the actors play football in them, even if you have the receipt returning them will be a nightmare.
- Read all rental terms and conditions before clicking the button, reigniting the acid baby in the evening when all helplines are closed will not help anyone.
- If at first you don't succeed, just say no again.
- Try not to feel bad because someone else is feeling bad.
- Learn to stand up for your point when frustrated.
- Use your words, passive aggression is not a good colour on anyone.
- When you have a bad feeling voice it. Usually that will make you feel better. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.
- You cannot control what will happen to others that you care about, therefore let it go and accept it in the way you know you have to.

and finally....
-wear socks when it's bloody cold outside.

I love having a room to myself. I think it was because while growing up I lived in a small powdered pink room with my sister. Sleeping on the bottom bunk, because that is where younger siblings belong.

My room in my college house is huge, big, spacious and a great place to breathe. And I adored hiding out in it. But not really anymore. Someone actually broke into my room (muddy footprinter we call him) and messed it all up for me. Now I sit on my bed at 11.30 with the full light on and am preparing to switch that off to turn on a reading lamp which will stay on throughout the night. Or, I might tidy it, change the bed clothes and make the place look different from this morning.

When we called the guards they were a-typical Irish men. Joking about the state of the kitchen, quoting lines from the plays that I had on my wall and trying to figure out who in my family they knew. In between telling me they wouldn't be surprised if the person came back cause they didn't take alot. They gave my no end of comfort.

They also very professionally referred to my window as "stupid", this is a police officer term I have no doubt, I have been getting into the lingo. Calling people perps, and my room a crime scene.... but now the joke has past its sell by date.

It shows that no matter where you are in the world, or what has gone wrong, you will always call home for them to fix everything.

This concluded with my father making sure it wasn't an "inside job"...

CSI Guiry- fighting crime, one under the table payment at a time.

And the ISDA might maybe go to....

It's that time of the year again folks, lets throw the sets into the back of a van and pray we find the theatre on time. Theatre is about precision if nothing else.

House parties have changed again, not a new revelation on my part- they regress like... a drunk at a house party.

There was once a time speaking in code at a party was safe. By code I do of course mean speaking in Irish. But not now, now you be left roasted alive by the fact that you have met another Irish speaker at the same party, standing in the same place at the bottom of the stairs and listening intently to the damaging conversation. As soon as he makes his bi-lingual contributions we realise we are in trouble. When did people start gaining a knowledge of their native language? How am I ever to call someone a douche bag without getting caught out.

When I was younger and living at home full time my father used to bring me to a second hand book shop at the weekends. Most of the books on the shelves were far too advanced for me, but there was a tiny section in the shop that I went to every-time. The biographies of famous or influential (mostly dead) people seemed so interesting to me. One of the first ones I read was about Montgomery Clift (gay guy from Here to Eternity.... as famous as Wayne, not as tall, the height of Sinatra but not as famous).

So I started collecting them, I have no theme, no idea who I would actually be interested in reading until I see what is available. That probably makes me the most flexible shopper.

The last time I went home my father wasn't feeling well enough for the adventure. So I decided to drive there myself. I spent about ten minutes convincing myself that I didn't need another Mandella biography and I most certainly would never read Victoria Beckhams "masterpiece" (a term one uses very loosely, like please and thank you). Then I found a really tattered and yellowed book, with the front page ripped off. The cover page of the book had the title "Joan of Arc- Jeanne D'arc". It was €2.50. How bad.

I started reading it last night. The most obvious thing at the moment is- she was worth more than €2.50....

If I commit myself to something, even if it is a favour for someone else and will not benefit me in anyway does it make me a bad person for deciding to back out now?

See, I am trying to figure out if people who bite off more than they can chew get the chance to spit it out before they choke....

Or maybe just figure out if that metaphor works....

Today was God's day, the day of rest. All was accomplished with was listed. I showered, I read the Sunday papers like a trooper, my room is tidier than ever, the recycling was put out an entire 24 hours in advance and the kitchen has never looked so shiney.

This wasn't the exact list I had made up for myself to. I hadn't an intention of staying in bed until an unholy hour (given the day that was in it). Nor was the a motive for staying in bed attire until 4pm when it was decided that the most productive thing one could do today would be to go to the cinema. Colin Farrell made me laugh for 2 hours- but at what cost?

Yesterday was to be my slow burning day, I was doing really well. I had cleaned the house, my room and my keen sense of domesticity was tuned highly. So much so that the inclination to clean my footwear came into play during the early afternoon. My vans had been soiled. They had been destroyed when operation "clean the toxic waste that has accumulated over the last six months- my god we're animals" was underway.

So I decide that a simple mathematical equation of : 1 pair of vans+ one ab led washing machine= one very clean pair of vans.

It was a naive venture at the core of it. For there I sat for 40 minutes (including the horrific spin cycle) and listened to the thumping and disgruntled noises come from the kitchenette appliance. At times it was similar to witnessing a battle. The shoes won one round only to succumb to the brutal force of the angry washer in round two. The banging and splashes of the water than could be seen through the port hole did nothing to quench the nerves that were... well, banging and splashing inside my mind.

I waited and finally I would be rewarded. The drone of the end came near. I got to my knees and gaped into the washing machine, waiting for that green light to salvation to flicker allowing me to open the door. The looked okay. In fact they looked more than okay. They looked clean. I open the door, and tentatively reach in and clutch the right shoe... although wet through and through it looked twice the runner it was before this ordeal. Whatever doesn't kill us certainly makes us stronger.

Stayed tuned next week as I haven't been liking the look of backpack with a number of days....

Never leave without checking if the drill has enough battery....

I learnt that lesson this evening. Winning's Leatherman is the new love of my life. It can do no wrong.

Quote of the evening:

"Ciara you're so small that if I gave birth to you, I'd probably feel no pain whatsoever......"

It's a useless cause. Not only am I NOT a no woman (even though that is a double negative and would imply otherwise....). I have become a "well I mean I can come in and give you a hand if you want" woman.

There is nothing worse.

Don't ask what your society can do for you........


When the editor of this publication recently based his editorial on the work ethic and commitment that was necessary to achieve success through societies on campus people had an opinion on the piece. Some agreed that the same people do all the work, while others merely laughed off the idea that societies did little more than drink until closing time on a weekly basis.

Upon deciding to write this feature this writer took the time to email over 20 societies. I received feedback from two. With over 80 societies on campus it could be questioned that I contacted the wrong societies, however the majority of the contact details that can be found on the UCC homepage are in fact obsolete.

As stated above there are over 80 societies on campus and with the exception of UCD that is the most active and well established society community in the country. With such impressive numbers under the belt of the expanding waistline of the guild there is notable success stories that we have all read about through the year, and societies that have fallen to the way side, with no sign of a rescue in sight.

JP Frennet, PRO of the Societies Guild, and a committee member of the nominated for Society of the Year Philosoph has spoken out on the positivity on campus when it comes to small and large society’s promoting events and meetings. “Nearly every society has promotion on campus. Be it from the smaller societies such as FECC & Pagan and Capriccio, to the larger societies like Dramat and Commerce. Nearly all societies have had a presence on campus this year either through regular meetings, a big event, or through regular postering” says Frennet.


Therefore it is fair to say that all facilities are present on campus to promote societies in order to encourage new members to join. This was not to be the case for the almost non existent Film Society. The society, while quietly active through the medium of all student emails last year has not had a committee to encourage members this year, never mind hosting actual screenings. It would seem the age old problem of all the work falling on the two hands could not withstand the pressure of running a creative arts society.


Brendan Hayes, perspective candidate for the coveted position (this year anyway) of Student Union President has explained the notion of the Societies Guild to the Express; “What makes societies work and what is the drive behind them is the people involved themselves; it is their own passion, worth ethic and dedication to the society that makes a society great. The Societies Guild is but a support for the societies in general and should never be seen as otherwise. Which makes perfect sense, people can only work on something if they want to.”


Mary O’ Leary, auditor of the newly established Fashion Society spoke glowingly of the guild, discussing the support she received when she approached them about setting up the society and the ongoing encouragement she has received since. This positive feedback will without doubt bring about more people formulating and executing their ideas on other societies on campus.


Starting up a society is not the problem it would seem. Maintaining the enthusiasm and fresh thinking within a group of people seems to be the issue. The fear that the job to bring a society to its feet and help it to walk will be left to a small few is an obvious concern for any perspective auditor. People need backup, people need help and some societies on UCC campus have anticipated this.


“I think that every society is different, and most societies have found the number of committee members and positions that suits their individual activities. Dramat have a separate sub-committee for each production, whereas the Philosoph have a standing committee of 16” Explains JP Frennet.


The idea that there are so many societies on campus is shocking to most, particularly those who were present at the Stars evening in Aula Max on Monday last. Philosoph, Law, Dramat and Choral were prominent on the night. With the exception of the academic society awards the nominations read like it is listed here.


There are many issues facing societies on a weekly basis on UCC campus says auditor of Philosoph Ross Frennet. When the philosophical society committee was formed last year for 2007-08 there were brand new members who had never worked with the society before. They were obviously enthused by the possibilities of working on a campus with an active group of people. However, once met with the obstacles of finances and the logistics of running any kind of established group on campus the excitement fizzled out to an obvious level.


It is obviously very difficult to keep the momentum going, without risking a mediocre academic career. Having worked on a committee this year I say that with a degree of certainty. Finding the balance of college work and society work is the key says Finance Exec Michelle Cremin.


“I would advise all society and club-heads to make sure that they have the balance between curricular and extra-curricular right from the start,” says Cremin, “I wholeheartedly recommend utilising the society’s guild and developing inter-society relations. When I was auditor of the Choral Society, I sought and received loads of help, advice and support from the Guild Exec and from other societies. While there is a huge variety of society activity in UCC, all societies compile budgets; run events; promote events etc.


One of common factors towards striving for a successful society is to have a passionate group of people working towards the same goal. The majority of the people interviewed for this piece agreed with this, Without the passion to achieve something innovative and different there was no point in a committee being formed to encourage more people to sing, dance, produce a play, write a debate or play a football match.

Everytime I think I'm finished.....

I keep saying it, I keep telling myself it will be completely different. But no, not in this lifetime at least. Maria Ciara Guiry has never had nor will ever have the intention of saying no to a task someone requires doing. There could be some kind of chemical imbalance which is causing this problem, I could be on some sort of toxic medical cocktail that curtails my mind and decision making abilities.

It's none of the above. There is one reason and one reason alone. I am a moron. Simple as. I will never say no if someone needs a favour. It's a terrible problem that I must deal with otherwise I will end up as the old bag lady living in a trolley that lives at the port and smells suspiciously like she has lived off a diet of cats and break pads off abandoned cars.

I can beat this. I can and I will.

I.AM.A.NO.WOMAN.