Monday

I have something caught in my throat, since yesterday.

I cough to clear it, and nothing.

I try to ignore it and it decides to make itself even more dominating...

I have decided the only way to solve this problem is a lot of alcohol....

while working....

gin.

Sunday

My new handbag has this tag on it...



My dearest love,
         
                 would you like to come away with me, travel the nights, share memories and send secret love letters so we never forget each other?


                  in these envelopes is everything i could never tell you. take me with you and use ink and paper, to record it all.


always yours,


               Disaster




As love notes go... perfection.

Find me a good chick flick, that isn't 30 years old.



Do I truly believe that Tom Hanks' character or Meg Ryan's to that end actually have sex with their significant others in this film? No I do not.

Do I believe that when they fall oh so hard in love that they will then take their word heavy relationship to the sheets? No, no I don't.

Is that what a chick flick is? In 10 things I hate about you Julia Stiles subtly tells us sex is BAD, in She's all that Paul Walker comes off as some form of Prom night rapist... what happened 90's??

I want the 80's films back. It's only romantic if John Cusack is outside my window blaring classic tunes from a sound system bigger than his car but smaller than his hair...

Thursday

Tonight I will have an early night...

I have read before that the first thing that comes into your head when you wake up in the morning is your deepest desire. Every morning it's the same thing- I'm going to bed early tonight. But it never happens.

Lets take last night for example...

My room- while not the tidiest it has ever been, was in a respectable condition, maybe that's why at 12am I decided in a massive overhaul that took well over an hour, a hoover bag change and mending the lining in a men's leather jacket that I never wear outside of the house....

Then I had some corrections that just couldn't wait, had to make a lunch (which is helpfully still in the fridge) and then at 2am.... I had a shower.

On the up side.....

No, shag it, I'm exhausted.

Tuesday

You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.





Sometimes I worry that people aren't romantic and lovely enough.... and then I find these things...




Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:

Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.

You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors. 

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love,

Dad

P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.

Wash, rinse, repeat.... repeat... repeat....

I was zombified this morning when it was time to embrace the day, so I stumbled bleary eyed into the shower and washed my hair so many times I lost count.

I don't actually know why I did it- I was trying to remember the 47 European countries that I had learnt yesterday and Kosovo, Bulgaria, Romania and the many Slo's raced around my head. Before I knew where I was I had made an impressive dent on the bottle of head and shoulder's on the ledge.

This terrible event led to me forgetting my banana for breakfast, missing my bus, getting a taxi where the taxi driver didn't want to tell me how the recession was ruining the city and failing to make an appointment for the dentist.

To be fair, the latter hasn't been attempted yet.

Monday

It's spelt....

Yesterday, while at work, I came across a moody, rich, British man- a rare specimen... cough.

Anyway, while I was solving his "numerous issues", we got into the nitty gritty of contact details. He wished me to use his wife details for this- I think he, like me, was worried that the two of us had become too emotionally attached and wanted to cut off communication before someone's feelings were hurt.

As I took down the name and number he told me his wife's name was Dali- which I helpfully spelt back to him and he said "yes, Salvador Dali...". To which I stopped what I was doing and there was a 3 second pause. "Your wife is Salvador Dali?".

"What? No her name is Dali, like Salvador Dali". "Ok.... Dali is her first name though right? I mean that was his surname, his first name was Salvador".

My new best friend huffed out a breath over the line and curtly replied with "well, I know that- I was just being helpful".

Being helpful by causing massive confusion....

I think he thought he was being clever. Mentioning an artist I obviously wouldn't know- because lets face it, he's smarter than me....

We finished the call by me just asking who I was speaking with, he said his name was Paul. And I said "Oh... see I would have known that your wife wasn't Salvador Dali at the start of the call if we'd started with that- he was married to a woman named Elena...."