Friday

If one is to wait for a sign...

I made a decision today- waiting for a sign is a completely useless exercise if action is the desired effect from the overall experiment- that makes sense, just read back on it for a minute. I swear.

I want to do things with people, to share the experience, but perhaps that is the wrong way to look at these things? Maybe the experience I have all by myself is the beneficial thing I should look for.

That's why I went to Rome, see the film I want to see, go out shopping even if others are busy. Be damned with the idea to be alone for a moment is to be lonely, that is not the case. I don't have to prove it, I don't have to will my phone to ring in a coffee shop while I sit by myself. I should be content with myself. After all when everything is done and dusted I am all I have.

Which shouldn't sound like the massive let down that I have implied! I have myself that's a great thing! I think I am OK most of the time when the crippling self doubt isn't messing everything else up.

Embrace and enjoy- it's a novel idea. But a bit sketchy in practice.