In the park I am sitting with a friend with the aimless ramblings floating over us in a kind of hidden wash. Cut to home where shouting and screaming drills through the walls, no source, no anger just me.
Kitchen, I wake.
For the first time in my 24 years I realised I was a sleep walker.
Sunday
Until it's too late...
I have always been a guilty worrier. Since I can remember to worry I have. The person who smiles daily and has it right up to their eyes- I am jealous of them. In fact I would go as far to say I hate them in some small measure.
We are allowed have a bad day, or month, or hour, minute, phase, episode; whatever. Not because of hormones, but just because we are human. I forget that. Things look good and therefore nothing can possibly be wrong. It's because of the angle we watch things from, a certain height can make the biggest of problems thumbnail sized. I just happen to stare at it until takes over. Slamming and thumping into all other aspects of everything with such force the bruises will never go away.
I walked around Cork this morning and it was good, nice, free. I needed that. I think escape is my favourite fantasy. The happily ever after for my character will probably consist of the the great escape soundtrack, bad hair and hopefully no barbed wire episodic threats circa Steve McQueen....
We are allowed have a bad day, or month, or hour, minute, phase, episode; whatever. Not because of hormones, but just because we are human. I forget that. Things look good and therefore nothing can possibly be wrong. It's because of the angle we watch things from, a certain height can make the biggest of problems thumbnail sized. I just happen to stare at it until takes over. Slamming and thumping into all other aspects of everything with such force the bruises will never go away.
I walked around Cork this morning and it was good, nice, free. I needed that. I think escape is my favourite fantasy. The happily ever after for my character will probably consist of the the great escape soundtrack, bad hair and hopefully no barbed wire episodic threats circa Steve McQueen....
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